30 Mar 2022
So it stopped.
He decided that he should stop pursuing and giving me further hopes. I was torn. I cried the whole week. This is the second time that I felt anguished. The first time was when my father died. That was when I knew that my feeling toward him is real.
At times I felt appreciated that he came clean about his situation and at some points, I felt extremely frustrated that he gave up just like that without sharing the concerns first & see what I can do to help us move forward together.
And today is 20 April 2022. The sadness is still there although we are still keeping in touch. Perhaps the thought that there will be no next step to bring our relationship to the next level, in the nearest time, made me feel this way. It's not like I'm ready to get married in the next few months, why can't we try to get to know ourselves deeply first? Why does this have to stop?
For the first time, I feel like I've found the one with that I can be transparent with my feelings and I feel that he is worthy enough for me to chase him. But why can't he feel confident enough to brace this together with me?
Probably this is Allah's plan to keep us both from making sins while giving us time to prepare ourselves for the marriage? Allah.. I really don't know. Guide me & show me to the right path Ya Allah.
No comments:
Post a Comment